Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
