no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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