i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She's the barista slut.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
