you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
