So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
