I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
