I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I love you. Go after that dick
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
