garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
