i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
