first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
