So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You can't just leave with hair like that
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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