ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
this hospital has no fireball
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
