Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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