Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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