get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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