it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
