Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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