i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
