I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
