Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
