a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
