there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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