You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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