the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
