There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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