I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
