you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
