I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
