if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
