I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
