Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
