so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
