I think my vagina is haunted
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
