my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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