My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
