yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
