Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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