so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
