..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I did not marry a roomba.
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