Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
