I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
