We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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