WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
