Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
