Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
