If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
