dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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