Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
