Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
