I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
