i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
